I am so tired. I don't just mean physically either... I feel like everyone is using me. I'm always in pain but nobody cares. I have fucked up hours but that's not their problems and they don't hesitate to ask me for things in the early mornings, etc. I have no attention span lately and can't focus on anything... even just a movie or a book. And I can't remember shit from an hour ago!!! Fibro Fog has a whole new meaning to me now. It's so frustrating.
I sent a letter to the BC Fibromyalgia Society tonight. I gave a short explanation of what I've been going through lately with doctors and what not, and asked for help. God I hope they know where I can go.
My mom broke her wrist in five places a little while ago. She just got the cast off but it didn't heal right and she needs surgery. Then yesterday she fell and sprained her other arm. But of course all she has to say is bitching the doctor at the WALK IN wouldn't give her NARCOTICS!!! He gave her T3's and she's pissed. God she's such a druggie. :( So mom is always bugging me to help her with this, that, this, that.
My friend Britt has asked me for rides to work Monday and Tuesdays at noonish, so on my two days off I've had to wake up early. As if I need to lose more sleep! She is really nice about it and gives me gas money, but she never hesitates to call. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't always be her first resort, you know?
And then there's David. I love him to death but man, sometimes it's hard. He lives 40 minutes out of town and it's bad enough driving him home after a night of work but it's a real pain in the ass to do so on my days off. And then tonight I got a call begging me to work 7-3 tomorrow instead of 3-11 and I couldn't even go straight to bed because I had to drive him home... and then tomorrow night I'd still have to pick him up at 11. Thankfully I found someone else for the morning shift so I'm still working 3-11. The sad thing is David is the most reasonable... he's always worried about me spending so much time driving him home... if I need gas money... etc. It's everybody else that is selfish. He'll have something worked out so I have a night off and then people will just change shifts or whatever, figuring that I can just drive him home. GRRRR.
My friend Josh learned recently he has cancer - for a third time. He also lost his wife and son a few years ago. Well, he's decided he's done - he's 30, sick for a third time, widowed, and just doesn't want to keep fighting. He's been dating my friend Lacey for a while now and he's decided he doesn't wish to tell her... so today he broke up with her! He plans to just cut all ties and when he dies his life insurance money will go to her. I've been trying to convince him it's not the right way but he insists this pain is nothing compared to losing a spouse. I disagree, I think it hurts worse to think someone you love is someone else. :( But I have sworn not to tell Lacey what's up and I will keep that promise... but she was texting me telling me she just doesn't understand and she can't stop crying. It's so unfair!!! And I'm really scared Josh is going to do something stupid like kill himself thinking sooner rather than later is for the best. I'm totally lost as to what to do in this situation. I think I'm the only person who knows the real reason Josh broke up with her too... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allan is good though. Got a cheque in the mail for $7700 the other day, lol. Still has one for $25,000 coming and another for $18,000 (all from his parents estate). He took me out to dinner at the best restaurant in town (Driftwood, yummy!) Friday night and then we went to Future Shop and he spent a grand on getting himself an iPad! LOL. He does deserve to spoil himself a bit. He also bought all the Harry Potter movies on Blue Ray, and some other movies. And a plush Yoda doll. Oh, and a plush Mario doll which he gave to me in the car and said it was for me. And we all know how much I love Mario! HEHEHE. Still not "officially" dating but he's such a sweetheart... and my mom just adores him! LOL.
Saw Harry Potter Thursday night, midnight premiere. WOOT. It was AWESOME. They did a really good job. I went with my friends Kaitlyn and Laura, two friends I've seen many Harry Potter movies with, so that was nice. Kaitlyn does cosplay too, and she dressed up as Ginny. It was such an awesome costume!
Anyways, I need sleep. <3
Current Music: King of the Hill